The Korean American Adoptee Adoptive Family Network has ever so graciously posted a link to my blog on its website, and I am so glad to hear from people all across the country with adoption stories! Thank you for your emails! I love to hear about your experiences...
therefore, I'd like to share mine with you...the quick version, at least!
I was born in Pusan, South Korea, and came to the United States when I was six months old. These are my parents, Charles and Sharon:
I love them so much!
I know Korean children have found permanent homes in the states since the 1950s, but I really feel like my parents were ahead of their time when they adopted me 20-some-odd years later. They worked and sacrified to give me the world, at least as much as you can in small-town Missouri.
Anyway, when I was 18, my parents surprised me with a trip to Korea. I went with Dillon International, the agency I volunteered with for four years (www.dillonadopt.org). The trip, called a birthland tour, catered to an adoptee and his or her family. Not only did we travel the country to get a glimpse of the culture, we also stayed at the Eastern Social Welfare Society where we held newborns awaiting homes in the U.S. We visited an unwed mothers' home, and saw our own adoption files, too.
I was adopted through Holt International (www.holtintl.org), so when I had some free time, I went to the agency's office. One day, I even had the privilege to eat with Molly Holt, the daughter of the agency's founder, Harry Holt. We had pizza! What an amazing woman.
I did say this is the short version, right?
Anyway, I wasn't expecting to meet my birth family, but I did a few days before I left the country. It was overwhelming. My Korean parents are still married, and I have three biological sisters--two older, one younger.
I thought it was pretty interesting since I had no idea of my background, but it's not near as fascinating as the story that landed me in the states--this is what I was told:
My Korean parents were not doing well financially in the 70s. They already had two toddlers and were expecting their third (me). My birth father was a fisherman, and he went away to work. He and my birth mother hoped for a son. It's a cultural thing, sons traditionally bring more honor to a family since their role is to take care of the aging parents.
When my Korean mother gave birth to me in a free clinic, I guess she felt desperate. She relinquished me and told my birth father that I had died. When he returned, he consoled her, and almost immediately she got pregnant again. However, she kept her secret for 18 years, until the summer I made my way back to my birthland. Isn't that crazy?
We're almost at the end...this is longer than I thought.
How did it all turn out?! My birth father was shocked, but in the end, he apologized to my Korean mother for putting so much pressure on her to have a son. I suppose my birth mother finally felt relieved...and they were both extremely grateful to my parents, Charles and Sharon, for "raising such a happy child". I was ecstatic to learn that I had sisters, but at the same time I was incredibly sad to go through such a life-changing experience without my parents. They were a wreck back in Missouri! The international phone bill was more than the value of my current car, which really isn't saying that much, but c'mon!
My dream is for my parents to meet my birth family. Charles and Sharon are just too dang old to take a long flight and then walk all over Korea. My mom has bad knees, my dad has a bad back, and he's had a long and hard year recovering from brain tumor surgery. On the other hand, it would cost a fortune to bring my entire Korean family over for a visit. So, if anyone knows how they can meet, give me some ideas!! Please!
My sisters are all wonderful women. My Korean parents got back on their feet and were able to put the girls through college. They're single and workin' it! They are a blast, and there's not a day goes by I don't think of them. We can sort of communicate because I took two years of college Korean, and they learned English in school as well.
So that's my story! If you can believe it, it's actually WAY longer. But I talk for a living, what did you expect?! Thank you for all of your stories, please send me more and post them so we can all share!
BUT, the REAL story is about BEN! He's the agency's first weekly Waiting Child. He does some super cute stuff (like headstands), and he says he misses his friends who've left the orphange for forever homes (heartbreaking.) He's so darn cute!
