Friday, January 18, 2008

Try Hazing: MSU's Tri Sigma Does

As many people know, Sigma Sigma Sigma at MSU has been disbanded by its national council for hazing. What an amazing shock to the young women who pledged and were looking forward to spending four years of sisterly love under one roof, bleh.


The chapter got in trouble for apparently playing drinking games, leaving blindfolded women in a cemetery, and forcing a woman to get an application from a strip club, as the News-Leader reports.

It just so happens that I have my own Springfield Tri-Sigma story.

My best friend from kindergarten to high school pledged Sigma Sigma Sigma at Southwest Missouri State. She loved the sorority so much--it was like, the ultimate. I mean she bled purple, y'all! And P.S., I hope she never reads this.

Anyway, she told me so many stories about what she did as a new member of that house. She said that one time the older girls invited the new pledge class over to the house. When they arrived, the older girls came down the stairs in really skimpy lingerie (sounds like a movie, right?!) Then the older girls got in each of the pledge's faces and started yelling things like "whore!" "slut!" for a few minutes to get a reaction from them. WTF? I never got that since the girls who were yelling were the ones dressed like skanks, but oh well.

Other stories included lots of drinking. "Drink bi*&^!!!" and stuff like that...

And when I asked her, "Don't you think that's degrading?" She said "NO! I can't wait to do it to the little bi%^&es next year!" Seriously?

Whatever. To each their own, right? At least that's what I thought at 19, afterall, this was my BFF. So one weekend I drove from Lawrence to Springfield to visit. We went out, did things that stupid college kids do, and then went back to her dorm. The next morning, all of her sorority sisters met in the bathroom to talk about their previous night (they went to a cool Sig Ep party...while we were losers and hung out with some of our other high school friends.) Anyway, I remember one of her stupid friends saying, "God, I'm so hungover right now...I mean look at me! I have Chinese eyes!" (and she made that awesome squinty-face while saying it.) I was just walking out of the stall, and kept walking. I may not have even washed my hands, which, if you know me, means ALOT.

My best friend of, um, oh, 14 years, laughed it off and joked about it...said nothing in my defense...or ever mentioned it again.

I packed my bags and left. I'm usually pretty cool about stupid stuff like that, but I had just had it with all of her uber sorority-ness.

So, my personal feelings are that Tri-Sigma, in a sense, changed my dear friend. So much, that we stopped being friends. Believe it or not, for a few years I had dreams about us making up and being friends again. It sounds cheesy, but it's true.

Another thing that bothers me...is that this is still the perception that many people have of fraternities and sororities. There are good, no great, sororities out there with very intelligent women who would not subject their new members to this kind of treatment.

I don't publicize it, but I was in a sorority at KU, and it was a great experience. As new members, we would get gifts from the older girls who wanted to welcome us into the home. We were expected to get good grades, and we were expected to be involved on campus. We were told the rules and were expected to follow them. Did we break some of them? Sure, but nothing that bad. And man, no one would have ever called me stupid or slutty...I think most of my friends would've walked out of a house like that and turned them in to Panhellenic. Who calls other women names like that...just for fun? And better yet, who would allow themselves to be called that?

I could go on and on about women dumbing themselves down...it's a real shame. So even though I do feel bad for the women in that house who were abiding by the rules, I don't feel an ounce for the women who were mistreating their "sisters". I hope they have learned a lesson--and not just the one about getting caught.

36 comments:

Jess said...

I'm really sorry that you had that experience with Tri Sigma. From first hand experience, I can tell you that each National Sorority has their good chapters and bad chapters. I happen to belong to a "good" Sigma chapter and I am proud to say so. I have never hazed anyone, and never plan to. Sigma's entire belief system rests on the concept of love - how can you love someone that you haze? You can't. Simple as that. But please, don't lump an entire group of over 100,000 women into a sterotype based on the actions of one chapter of maybe 50 women.

Anonymous said...

I am very sorry that you had such a horrible experience with your friend. I was a member of Sigma at SMSU and I can assure you that what happened in the end was not always the case. When I was a member it was the best time of my life. There was no hazing (or I would have not joined) and we were one of the top 3 Sigma chapters in the country. I hope you do not let the "party girls" of the house ruin your opinion on everyone else and those of us that put our heart into the chapter. Most were devistated when we were made aware of the situation through alumni letters because everything we had once put into the chapter was taken away.

Michelle said...

I totally understand! I definitely didn't think my friend's actions were a reflection on the entire house... I just thought it was sad for her and the other women who thought it was cool.

Anonymous said...

Hazing is amazing. It establishes sister/brotherhood. Were the ladies doing something that could kill them? No. So why is it anyone elses business what they choose to do. Some couples rub fecal matter on eachother for fun and you never hear anyone whining about that. When you make pledges drink until they puke thats one thing, but there is nothing wrong with trying to establish a sisterhood. Missouri State will fail because of lack of Greek Life.

Anonymous said...

OMG!!! Hazing is NOT amazing and it is against Tri-Sigma's national policy. I am Tri-Sigma from Oklahoma and am very proud to be one. Our national headquarters is VERY strict on hazing and other do's and dont's in our letters. It was shocking news to hear that there was such a large chapter shut down for such activity when it is so frowned upon by the sorority as a whole. I am sorry for the bad image you have gotten from your friends experience, but I assure you that a reputation for such things is not wanted from other Tri-Sigma sorority members. Please dont judge the sorority as a whole by one chapters mistakes. It hurts to hear my letters talked badly about.

PWG said...

I am an Alum of a HB Chapter in South Carolina & want to make a point to say that our National Headquarters is very strict (for good reason) about hazing & anything that could be considered hazing. We were never to refer to new girls as "pledges" it was always new members & during their education we completed the worksheets with them, because we did not want them to feel that they were forced to do something we did not. The new members are showered with love, support, sisterhood, and gifts during Big Sis/ Little Sis week. I respect that you have strong feelings about your friendship, but it sounds to me that TRI SIGMA didn't change your friend, your friend decided to change. We are a great organization & always will be. www.trisigma.org

"Sometimes people change & forget to tell us..." Unknown

Ever Forward~

Anonymous said...

I was in tri-sigma @ truman state university and the hazing was waaaaay worse than that- we lost a few girls buy the next year just from the hazing. i will say that the girls that stayed ended up being very close but it truely was ridiculous

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry you lost your friend to that sorority. I know that not all greek chapters are bad, but I lost two of my friends to one chapter. They both turned into sorority robots in a matter of two months. It was ridiculous.

Jennifer Rivas said...

As a proud member of Tri-Sigma, I can tell you that this type of behavior would never be tolerated at my chapter. There were times as a new member that they went so far to avoid anything that could have been perceived as hazing that I thought it was overkill. Example - when setting up the room for meetings, new members were not even allowed to move chairs!

I can tell you that joining Tri-Sigma has been one of the defining moments of my life. And I am also a military veteran, wife, and a mother. Tri-Sigma is near and dear to my heart and it saddens me that people like that have tarnished our image to others.

Anonymous said...

I agree with some of the comments above. I know that my chapter does not haze in the least. I was neither hazed as a new member nor have I hazed new members. We don't even use the language that is often associated with hazing in Greek life. This is done in an effort to distance ourselves from hazing in all respects.

I find it sad that some women see it fit to use a great organization such as Tri-Sigma as an excuse for debauchery, promiscuity, and shameless displays of power (ie. hazing). Hazing is never a good thing. If a sorority chapter cannot establish sisterhood without degrading their new members, then there are larger problems for that chapter and it most certainly should be closed.

Lastly, the idea of "losing a friend to a sorority" is preposterous. That friend made a choice to enter a group of friends and furthermore to align herself with the women of that group. Sororities as well as any campus group can have negative or positive influence. A friend could just as easily been lost to another campus organization. Sororities are not out to snatch your best friends and turn them into robots. We're not predators! It is all a matter of choice upon the new member's part. And sadly, if she chooses to become someone with whom you no longer identify, then that is her choice and she most likely lost a good friend because of said choice.

So, as the other women have said, please don't let the experiences of two chapters serve as testament to the character of an entire international organization.

Anonymous said...

hello. im a tri-sigma at northwest missouri state. im so sorry that you had to undergo something like that. we here at alpha epsilon do not do any type of hazing. however i wish you would just reword it as TRI-SIGMA TRI-SIGMA TRI-SIGMA you should word it as their chapter name because it brings all of us down. :( because i wouldnt want girls who are thinking to pledge us see this and assume we are all the same!

Sincerely,
Kiwi

Anonymous said...

Tri Sigma at Truman State does not haze anymore and hasn't for a couple of years... they walk on egg shells now b/c I think they got caught? It's kinda funny how careful they are about everything do avoid anything being considered hazing.

Anonymous said...

As a member of Tri-Sigma, I can echo the comments that our chapter would never have even thought about some of those things. The National Headquarters has become very strict on what can and can't be done (we wanted to have a scavenger hunt and weren't allowed) and sometimes, I do think it is a little too strict sometimes but it's in the best interest of the members.

I hear the stories all of the time...and wonder how ANYONE would 1. put up with it and 2. do those things to someone who they are supposed to have a special sisterly bond with! I hate that you lost a friend in all of this.

Anonymous said...

Hazing is not amazing. I was a Tri Sigma at Elon University and was hazed. Hazing does not form any type of sisterhood. My blood sister or cousins would NEVER do the things some of the older sisters did when I was pledging, many, many years ago. Hazing is not how you show love or friendship. I was never comfortable around the older girls that hazed. Are you supposed to be afraid of your sisters? I don't think so.

Anonymous said...

that's very upsetting. I'm a member of Tri Sigma at James Madison University and we are the only sorority on campus that DOES NOT haze. I hope your opinion about Tri Sigma is not tarnished because every chapter is different.

Anonymous said...

Surely you guys have better things to do then gossip about things for which you know nothing. I AM a MSU Tri-Sigma and if you were not personally involved I think it best to keep your gossip to things that apply to you. Get a hobby or something.

Anonymous said...

Just so you know- Tri-sigma is bigger than one campus- hazing is not needed to gain a strong sisterly bond- it can be gained through fun and chatting which is how other chapters establish their bonds-

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry that happened and that your friend got sucked in to the stereotype that go along with sororities. I'm a new member of Tri Sigma. and I can tell you that all the girls in my chapter have never done anything like that to me or any of the other new girls. I chose Tri Sigma because I could feel the love that they have to offer and the support that represents our sorority. That makes me so sad that one chapter's action could potentially affect all the chapters of Tri Sigma and Tri Sigma itself. I'm glad that they disbanded that chapter because it removes that chapter's association with such a wonderful sorority and organization.

If there was any type of hazing of any kind I would not continue with Tri Sigma. As it goes I have not experienced it at all and I'm finding the love that the sorority promises. In fact I have always felt that Tri Sigma disproves the typical stereotypes that many people have about sororities.

O.C. said...

As a member of Tri Sigma I want to say I'm sorry what happened to you and your friend. Like someone said, each sorority has "bad" chapters. I am President of the Eta Kappa Chapter and that would NEVER be tolerated from my chapter! We strive for campus involvement, top GPA, and being role models for other young women. Greek life is suppose to be a positive experience that helps a person grow, not a time for disrespect or belittling. I hope that you can someday have a good experience with a Tri Sigma and change your views on us!

Sigma Love.

Anonymous said...

As a sister of Tri-Sigma I am so sorry that you saw a side of sigma that not a lot of chapters have. I know with mine we would never even think of hazing our new members, like you said we got gifts from our big sis and were taught about our sorority and what we stood for along with having study nights that the entire chapter must attend. But there is anyways at least one bad egg in the group, I am proud to say my chapter isn't one of them. But i hope one day you can meet another sister of Tri-Sigma and get to know them and see a lot of us are nothing like this, as a matter in fact the whole lengerie thing reminds me of something another national sorority does on campus that we tell our girls we will never be anything like them.

Anonymous said...

I'm very sorry that you had to experience this type of behavior from your friend, but I have to admit that I'm pretty upset at seeing this blog. I stumbled upon this by googling "Tri-Sigma" in an attempt to find a baby gift for one of my sisters. I'm a proud alumna of Sigma Sigma Sigma and although I'm happy to see different experiences that other women have had with our sisterhood, I'm saddened that we are in the position to have to defend our letters! ALL Greek Organizations struggle with the age-old issue of hazing, and ALL of thier National Leaders have made public statements vehemently opposing hazing in all forms. To call Sigma Sigma Sigma out on a public blog like this is a MUCH larger issue than you may realize. And I'm sure ANY Tri-Sigma reading this is feeling like I am right now, which is really upset that our Sisterhood, which has promoted LOVE and strong bonds for over 100 years can be so easily tarnished by the thoughtless words of someone who didn't even experience ANY of this herself, merely through a "Friend". You say you were part of a sorority. WHY would you publicy stereotype another organization by the comment of ONE woman? I'm sure you were hurt by the other woman's derogatory comment of your ethnicity. Understandable, but Tri-Sigma is the ONLY NPC sorority that has added in thier by-laws that sexual orientation will not be used to exclude a woman from sisterhood. Wonder if your sorority would be that accepting and LOVING ?

Point is, I understand its YOUR blog, and YOUR opinion, which you are definitely entitled to. But its MY LETTERS, and MY SISTERHOOD that you're slandering here, and the next time you want to judge an organization on the whole based on ONE experience by ONE woman, you might want to think twice.

Michelle said...

This post should upset you but not because of me. This should upset you because some careless women chose to hurt one another, let down a community, and tarnish the Tri-Sigma name.

I don't think you should be upset with someone who shared their story, as hurtful as it is to read.

In my mind, I lost my best friend from the time we were five. It was hurtful, and it impacted so much of my life. I grew up envisioning my childhood friend as my Maid of Honor. I thought she'd be a Godmother to my children.

She got caught up in some bad behavior at a sorority that made headlines in our area. The reason I know this? I was a reporter. We covered it.

I think slander is a strong word that shouldn't be taken lightly. It should also not be used if you don't really know what it means. I certainly did not slander any person or any organization here.

I have shared an account that I know to be true. I could have used my ex-friend's name, but I chose not to out of her protection. We may not be friends anymore, but I would not humiliate her by using her name.

I am sorry that this has evoked such strong emotion to women who are involved with Tri-Sigma. I absolutely believe there are great women and great chapters. I will not apologize for sharing my story. If anything, I hope others can learn from it and understand that certain behavior can change an institution's reputation and damage sisterhood.

Anonymous said...

Hi, I recently came across a blog post your wrote about a friend of yours who pledged Tri Sigma. It mentioned hazing, and as someone who also pledged Tri Sigma in college, I wanted to share my story with you.

Basically, I got hazed and it sucked. Every week, and every night during "hell week", we had to sit on the floor, blindfolded, in the dark, while the rest of the sisters screamed questions at us (I think they called it inquests or something). If we didn't asnwer what they deemed right, we just got screamed at even more. We were completely degraded with the purpose of making us feel like crap. We had to do a "Walk of the Candles", where we had to individually walk down a flight of steps and answer knowledge questions from each of the sisters. If we didn't get them right, we were again screamed at and degraded. This went on until each pledge was finished, then the sisters stood over us and screamed at us. During a few of the inquests, I had an asthma attack, and usually was taken out of the room until I could breathe again, then went back in. On the night of the candle walk I had a pretty severe attack, but they would not let me leave the room, and actually screamed at me more. The less I could breathe, the more they screamed. I will never forget "Spirit Sis" night. This was during hell week, and we had not been allowed to sleep for days. I accidentally fell asleep in a sister's room at the house that day, and this was the worst degredation I had to experience. I cried for hours afterward. I truly wanted to kill myself that night, but luckily I had a REAL sister who I was able to call and she calmed me down. I remember one night having to go to each of the frat houses and do whatever humiliating thing the borthers told us to do, all so that the brothers, and my future sisters, could be entertained. This is just a small taste of what we went through, all in the name of "proving" we really wanted to be sisters.

Once I was a sister, I thought these girls would be my best friends. After a series of events over the next 2 years, I decided that my senior year I would disaffiliate with the sorority. As soon as word got around about my intent, I realized these girls were not my friends. Every one of them stopped talking to me. If I even said hello to any of them on campus they looked right through me as if I didn't exist. They started vicious rumors about me, the worst being that I was a slut and put out for frat guys. When I started going to frat parties, without my former "sisters", frat guys who had "heard" about me tried to collect on what they had heard. On more than one occasion, I was put into dangerous situations. Luckily for me, I always was able to escape without getting hurt, but numerous times I was afraid this wouldn't be the case. I haven't spoken to any of my former sorority sisters since I disaffiliated.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is I want to say thank you for your blog entry.

Anonymous said...

it makes me sick reading all of these :( i'm in tri-sigma at longwood university and like another girl said nationals is very strict on hazing. when i was a pledge, i was pampered with gifts and love haha. it kills me that there are still chapters out there hazing. why would someone ever treat their sisters so badly?

i would never tolerate it and if someone that's getting hazed is reading this let me tell you... YOUR BETTER THAN THAT and the chapter should be to. turn them innnnnn

Erin said...

I'm an Alum from Morehead State University in KY of Sigma Sigma Sigma. This really saddens me that some of my "sisters" would act that way. I personally feel sorry that you experienced that. The Gamma Psi girls do not haze, never have. Our Nationals are 100% against hazing.

Anonymous said...

I can very much understand what your friend went through, because I went through something similar, not hazing, but the hatred from my sisters. At first when I joined they were very supportive and friendly, then things quickly changed! I started to feel like an outsider when it came to functions. My sisters would never call me to hang out, but they were always with the older members.

Then all heck broke loose when I started dating a guy they disapproved of. I am married to him now, and I can say he is amazing. I was cornered in the bathroom on our homecoming night, and was told to leave him or leave Sigma. I was called so many different names by my sisters, they talked behind my back, gave me the cold shoulder, and finally it got to the point that I was terrified to go to any event with them. They would constantly find reasons to call me in to what I call "Sigma Court", while other girls got away with everything.

After awhile I became a null and void factor in their minds, just because I did something they did not want me to do. When I first joined I thought this would be a place I could find sisterly love, and have friends for the rest of my life, but instead they always made me feel like an outcast. Why even give someone a bid if this is what you will do to them? Why not spare the pain? It has been a whole year, and I still miss what I had when I very first joined, and the pain is still very raw. I know I sound crazy, but it is crazy what this group did to me.

Now I am not saying that Tri-Sigma is bad, its not. The organization as a whole is amazing, and stands for something so important, but these girls just did not follow the morals of Sigma with everyone. Even with all I have gone through with this group, I am still proud to call myself a Sigma.

Tiffany said...

It makes me sad that when I googled "Tri Sigma" this was one of the first things to come up after our National Website. So I clicked on it and read through it and am so sad that anyone ever gets hazed or hazes or feels like they should remain quite about these types of situations. I am in a chapter that has never hazed me or made any of my chapter sisters feel lesser. Hazing is not a bonding experience. Hazing does not bring you closer to your sisters, your chapter, your "pledge class," your family tree, anyone. Hazing is wrong and it makes me sad that any Greek has to go through it, especially fellow Sigmas because I KNOW that goes against all we believe and follow. Sisters should recognize there mistakes and move EVER FORWARD to better sisterhood and better actions. And, to those who are hazing, being hazed, or are uncertain, should call a hazing hotline, use hazingprevention.org or stophazing.org and should stand up and stand out against hazing.

Anonymous said...

Michelle,

I am an alumna of Tri Sigma at SMS and I am very offended that you lumped the entire sorority into the title of this blog entry. "Try Hazing: Tri Sigma Does" is extremely disrespectful to the Sigma Sigma Sigma organization. I loved my Tri Sigma years at SMS, and I would do it all over again the same exact way.

I believe your post to be complete trash, especially the following sentence, "What an amazing shock to the young women who pledged and were looking forward to spending four years of sisterly love under one roof, bleh." Bleh? The young women who were looking forward to spending four years of sisterly love under one roof completely lost the four years they dreamed of spending with great sisters, so this has been nothing to "bleh" over.

Yes, I am sorry that my sorority "changed" your friend, but in my opinion, she didn't seem to mind. I think that by writing this you're thinking only of yourself in the hazing your friend went through with Tri Sigma.

In response to one of your responses, we all lose longtime friends and I'm sorry that you had to lose yours through Tri Sigma. But, through Tri Sigma at SMS, I made many longtime friends. They are my sisters. I will defend them and the Sigma Sigma Sigma organization till kingdom come, which is why I am responding to your bias blog post about my sorority.

One letter. One love.
Sigma Sigma Sigma

Michelle said...

Anonymous...

The facts are that Tri Sigma at SMSU got in trouble for hazing. Period.

My story was my own... from my experience. I did not "lump" an entire group.

I come from the belief that sororities are to empower and enlighten, not degrade and dumb down.

Do I believe everyone at Tri-Sigma sucks? No. And I never said that. In fact, I don't even think my former BFF sucks. We've all grown up... and if I believed in erasing blog posts, I would take this one down.

I think you should read my above comments.

I loved my sorority and the women who were in it. But, if something negative happened to my chapter after I graduated, I would be disappointed in the women who made a poor decision...AND NO ONE ELSE. As an adult, we have the duty to look at the world with a wider lense... if something was wrong... it was wrong. It doesn't matter where our loyalties lie.

If you want me to take your post more seriously, please leave your name. I find it in poor character that you would attack this post and not leave your identity.

Grow up... and move along.

Anonymous said...

I am in Tri Sigma and it pains me to read this blog. I am hurt by the title and I do feel as though my organization is being humiliated for the actions of a rogue chapter. Having expressed that, I am not angry that this blog was created, nor am I necessarily embarrassed or offended that our sorority is affiliated with it by name. If an individual takes time to read even a few comments they can see the overwhelming love and sisterhood that the majority of us joined for and promote. Many women have clearly expressed their pride to be a Tri Sigma and their personal stance against hazing. Yes, there are some horrifying and embarrassing comments and I encourage anyone who is being hazed or knows that a friend is being hazed to speak up. It happened on our campus with other Greeks and while it has changed the campus drastically and made life difficult for certain individuals, it has also helped generations of future Greeks escape the possibility of being hazed, to recognize their rights as individuals, and to speak up for themselves. Tri Sigmas hold themselves as women and as sisters to higher standards and while this blog has inevitably exposed a few instances in which our bonds of sisterhood have been abused by chapters, it mostly serves to demonstrate the love and respect that Tri Sigma stands for. No Tri Sigma sister that I have ever met has hazed, been hazed, or expressed the opinion that hazing in any form promotes sisterhood. It is inexcusable and counterproductive. If you have a story, it is your right to express it. Hopefully it is therapeutic because God knows harassment like that can and often does leave psychological scars. I apologize personally that women were behaving in the ways discussed by some comments, and I further apologize that they were acting under the letters of our Greek organization. I wish that the women who chose to join Tri Sigma chapters and were met with hazing has only had an experience like my own.

Sigma Love and Mine

Anonymous said...

I am a tri sigma and I cannot believe these stories! I'm sorry if any of you ladies were hazed by any of the active members of this sorority! But like many other posts stated, when I was a new member I was NEVER hazed, my chapter always prides itself on having a zero hazing tollerence. I could write about all the amazing things I went through as an nm and the wonderful things I got to do for my little, but instead I want to encourage you who have been hazed to report it to nationals... because they are extremely strict when it comes to hazing!

Ever Forward

Anonymous said...

I'm a new member for Tri-sigma now at Epsilon Alpha. I love these ladies, and I couldn't imagine this quarter without them. Hazing is so frowned upon that we can't even go on little scavenger hunts as sister bonding time. :( I love tri-sigma, and I'm so sad that there are people out there that didn't get to experience what Tri sig is about, and really get to understand sisterhood.

I really think that the only form of "hazing" they can do is trick you on who your big is. And thats not even hazing.

I really hope you don't view Tri-Sig as a whole like this, and only the chapter that this happened in. I do believe that they got what they dissevered.

Sigma love

Anonymous said...

I have to say, as being a member of Tri Sigma, that these things are not common to Sigma Sigma Sigma as a whole. When I joined I was just showered with love, support, and gifts! I love being a Sigma. It's unfortunate that girls portrayed Tri Sigma that way since hazing is not what Sigma is about at all.

Friendship. Character. Conduct.

Tri Sigma has made me who I am today and I am damn proud of who I am and I am so happy to be apart of such a wonderful organization.

ΣΣΣ <3
SLAM =]

Anonymous said...

My sister is joining this, i hope it dosent happen to her!

KMCKLL said...

I am a Tri sigma sister at the epsilon epsilon chapter and I have never heard of anything like this ever happening, and I have to say I am absolutely appalled. Not only does hazing go against all of our laws and bilaws, but it is the opposite of our values and ideals. I am so sorry that you friend went through this, and a her sister from another chapter I wish she had reported those girls to our National Headquarters. We have a zero tolerance policy on hazing and with good reason. Hazing does not make people closer, it traumatizes individuals and encourages an acceptance of abuse.

As a legacy I can say that my chapter has never hazed, my mother was in our second new member class and I have been a sister for two years. I only ever heard good stories from her about her sisters, who I look at as my biological aunts. It was her great experience combined with Tri Sigma's mission and values that made me want to become a sister- and I can say that it is the greatest thing I have ever done. I have been blessed to have soapy opportunities open up to me through sigma, and have met amazing women who inspire me every day to become a better person. I would not trade my sisters for the world, they give me all the love in their hearts and support me more than anyone in the world. I would give anything for them and they have already done as much for me and I know would do it again.

Tri Sigma helped to save my life through the understanding and acceptance of my sisters. They have guided me through tough times and never once abandoned me.

Again, I am so sorry for the experience your friend, yourself, and Some of the other girls on here have gone through. Sisterhoods are not supposed to be that way. They are meant as a place where you are safe, loved, not judged, and always encouraged to do your best and feel your best by being given the tools to do so; whether it be through a sister to help you study for a final, drive with you across states to go to a funeral, or just put up post it's with vocab terms for a french class. Sisters are there for you at the best and worst times.

I hope one day you and your friend are able to reconcile. Losing friends is never a good thing, and while being in a sorority can change you, it should only do so in a positive way, such as giving you a better understanding of your values and yourself. Moving ever forward, please do not let a few people's negative experiences define your view of Sigma as an organization. We are bigger than a chapter or two, we are bigger than letters on a shirt, we are an organization focusing on fostering lifelong sisterhoods and helping kids.

(sorry for any typos- I'm doing this on my phone)

Moving Ever Forward

Anonymous said...

Hi,

I am a Sigma Sigma Sigma as well, and a legacy too, my great grandmother never had hazing in her chapter, years ago in Missouri and my cousin is a Sigma Sigma Sigma of Nu Chapter. She did not go through hazing nor does her chapter support it either. The hazing goes against our morals, laws, bi-laws, values and ideals. It goes against so much and as a Sigma Sigma Sigma of Epsilon Tau Chapter we do not support nor recognize any type of hazing or degrading of any sort, whether it be jokingly or not. Sigma was one of the first sorority's to be against hazing and act against it. Making it a cause, Sigma informs others of how hazing hurts people not just now but also in the long run, psychologically.

We are really strict in my chapter, we do not refer to the girls as pledge, little sigmas, baby sigmas etc because that is consider hazing and degrading to the girls, our new members are not allowed to be with us after a certain time during school days, we cannot ask them to do anything for us, cannot make them doing anything or call them anything that is degrading to them as a person. We wont even joke with a girl about certain things because it could be offending and hazing as well.

What this chapter did is disgusting and saddening too because they are not just hurting Sigma Sigma Sigma as a whole but it is also hurt the name of Greek organizations as a whole. So many will think that this is how we treat our girls when it is not true. I love everyone of my sisters and I could not even think of doing any of that. Yeah we joke around with each other but that is in the privacy of Sigma Sigma Sigma. My chapter does not have a house because it is against county laws to have more than seven people of the same sex (not biological/married related) living in the same house. So we have sigma time and Sigma Week, where it is only Sigma members hanging out.

In front of people we joke a little but we usually stay poised and collective and act like proper young lady because we know that we represent one another and even bigger our sorority. My sisters would never think to do this to anyone and I am sorry that your friendship has ended because of the way your friend started acting on entering a sorority. I do hope she reported these girls that acted in such an appalling manner.

Since you were in a sorority, I know you know what sisterhood should be like and mean. And I can tell you, that Sigma Sigma Sigma stands together because a boat cannot function without the crew, and without the crew it sinks. I love my sorority, like I have already told you and we stick together, hand in hand, faithful to one another, moving Ever Forward with faith,love, hope, power and wisdom. We show love, care, devotion, accepting and support towards our sisters of different backgrounds and lifestyles. We want to better/help one another, the sisterhood, the community and grow together as successful, honest, trustworthy, devoted and poised young women that all my sisters in my chapter, Epsilon Tau and I am sure in other chapters are turning into if not already.

It is so great to see my other sisters support and stick up for our sisterhood. There are chapters, like some of my sisters have said that are not lead properly. The president, along with the other girls are not doing their job at that particular chapter but I can assure you that many of my other sisters chapter, including mine, their president do an outstanding job at upholding our Nationals rules and regulations. I know at my university, Sigma Sigma Sigma was the only Greek organization that did not haze any new members. I am proud to be a Sigma Sigma Sigma sister and be a part of the organization.

One Life, One Heart, One Letter, ∑∑∑, Sisterhood Forever
Ever Forward My dear sisters. SLAM <3 <3 :-)